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Carl's appraising glance lingered just a little too long. Suddenly Jim knew. Thinking back, there had been other signs: Carl's brushing into him as they passed in the hall, the arm on his shoulder, the sex jokes. Yes, it had all seemed a little strange. But who would have thought that Carl would be sexually attracted to him? It was crazy. Carl had a wife and child. But with that appraising glance, Jim knew.
Jim tried to distance himself from Carl, but Carl became more brazen. The sexual content of his remarks became increasingly specific. Carl began to find more and more excuses to spend time with Jim -- sitting next to him, brushing his leg against him with intent. Embarrassed and uncomfortable, Jim didn't know what to do. After all, Carl was the boss.
Then came the pressure. Daily, Carl remarked on Jim's clothing, and the attractiveness of his body. He invited Jim to join him for drinks after work, suggesting that they rent a room at a nearby hotel "to enjoy the hot tub." Jim refused, making a number of excuses. Finally, Carl asked Jim to spend the weekend with him, implying that to not do so "could impact your future with the company."
Sound farfetched? Sexual harassment takes many forms. While "traditional" sexual harassment of women by men is by far the most common type, women harassing men, and the harassment of the same sex is increasingly reported. In recent years, sexual harassment of men by men has been found in the military, construction industry, on oil rigs, in universities, as well as manufacturing and business settings.
Harassment is as much about power as it is about sex. Those who harass often fantasize about their potential victims, reinforcing themes of control. As these fantasies become more persistent, they begin to influence overt behavior toward the object of desire. This often results in discomfort and guilt, through which the harasser gains temporary control over his urges. As time passes and boundaries between persons break down, the guilt dissipates and the sexual urges are more readily acted out.
For Jim, Carl's behavior meant meeting with an attorney. While he could have attempted a lawsuit, Jim's lawyer advised him that unless he had collaborating evidence of sexual harassment from a number of sources, such cases were difficult to prove. Considering the embarrassment and heartache for all involved, Jim found other employment.
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